Counting Down the 10 Biggest Wins in Football History

In 1938, during the World Cup, Sweden established a commanding 5-0 lead against Cuba, prompting renowned journalist Emmanuel Gambardella to cease his typewriting. According to Gambardella, any goals scored beyond that point were mere statistical figures. This perspective reflects a shared sentiment among certain teams in the history of football, who have shown restraint in running up the score.

A notable example is Germany, who famously made a pact during their ruthless domination over Brazil in the 2014 World Cup semi-finals, opting to spare the hosts further humiliation. However, not all teams have exhibited such mercy. The following list highlights some of the most significant victories ever recorded, delving into the realm of statistics that Gambardella dismissed. It is important to note that this compilation only includes senior men's matches at the highest level, and results that have been expunged from the record books are not considered.

10. China 19-0 Guam

Willie McFaul, the former goalkeeper of Newcastle United, faced a formidable challenge in his debut as the manager of Guam, a small US territory. Their first match under McFaul's leadership was against the Asian powerhouse China, who held a ranking 112 places above Guam. Additionally, China's military personnel alone outnumbered the entire population of Guam in 2000. The vast disparity in resources and stature was evident during the qualification matches for the Asian Cup that year.

Despite the daunting circumstances, McFaul sought to find positives and focused on the determination of his team. He had to rely solely on amateur players, including teachers, bank tellers, and students who had not yet moved to US colleges. In contrast, China was experiencing the beginning of a golden generation. The continental giants reached the semi-finals of the Asian Cup and would go on to qualify for their first-ever World Cup in 2002.

Facing such a formidable opponent with a team of amateurs, McFaul's task was undoubtedly challenging. However, his dedication to extracting competitive performances from his players showcased his resilience and commitment to the game.

9. Iran 19-0 Guam

Being a fan of the Guam men's national team during the turn of the millennium was undoubtedly a challenging period. Situated in the middle of the vast Pacific Ocean, Guam gained recognition from world football's governing body in 1996 but endured a brutal introduction to international competition. The president of the nation's Football Association, Valentino San Gil, candidly described their early footballing journey as being akin to a "punch bag."

Less than a year after suffering a devastating 19-0 defeat against China, Guam faced a similarly harsh result in their World Cup qualification match against Iran in 2002. In a chastening evening, Iran's Farhad Majidi scored the team's 18th goal in the 78th minute. To ensure the best possible goal difference, Majidi even retrieved the ball from the net. The Guam manager, Willie McFaul, reluctantly admitted that the experience was far from pleasant.

These lopsided defeats against footballing powerhouses highlighted the immense challenges faced by the Guam national team as they navigated their early years in international football. However, their determination and resilience would eventually lead to progress and growth in the sport on the Pacific island.

8. Kuwait 20-0 Bhutan

The remote nation of Bhutan, nestled in the Himalayas, had only recently played their inaugural official match when they embarked on a journey to Kuwait for the qualifiers of the 2000 Asian Cup. As newcomers to the continental stage, Bhutan's spirited performance managed to hold off their opponents for an impressive 18 minutes. However, their resilience was eventually broken when they conceded the first of four penalties due to a blatant rugby tackle in the penalty area.

Bhutan's goalkeeper, Ahmad Jassem, faced just one shot from Bhutan before being called upon to take a penalty himself. With a nonchalant stroke, Jassem calmly placed the ball into the bottom corner, extending the lead to an astonishing 19-0. In the 89th minute, Bashar Abdullah delivered the final blow by scoring his eighth goal of the game. The result was so overwhelmingly one-sided that the General Secretary of the Asian Football Confederation (AFC), Peter Velappan, contemplated a potential restructuring of the entire qualification process.

The lopsided nature of the match highlighted the stark difference in experience and skill level between the two teams. Bhutan's brave entry into the Asian Cup qualifiers showcased their determination to compete at the highest level, despite the overwhelming odds stacked against them.

7. Guam 0-21 North Korea

In their crucial penultimate qualification match for the 2005 East Asian Football Championship, North Korea had a clear objective: they needed to significantly increase their goal difference to surpass their main rivals, Hong Kong. At that point, Hong Kong held an impressive goal difference of +26, whereas North Korea lagged behind with +8. Unfortunately for Guam, they became unwitting victims in this pursuit.

The onslaught began just six minutes into the match when Hong Yong-jo found the back of the net, setting the stage for a nightmarish debut for the Guam goalkeeper, Joseph Laanan. North Korea continued their relentless attack, scoring an average of one goal every 252 seconds, until the merciful final whistle blew. The isolated dictatorship accomplished their goal, finishing above Hong Kong and securing qualification for the main competition.

Having secured their place in the tournament, North Korea performed admirably, finishing third and even outdoing their neighboring nation, South Korea. This remarkable achievement showcased the strength and determination of the North Korean team, despite the challenges they faced due to their isolation from the international football community.

6. Tonga 0-22 Australia

During the 2002 World Cup qualifiers, Australia's head coach, Frank Farina, was determined to leave no room for chance. In his pursuit of success, Farina selected eight players based overseas, including John Aloisi from Coventry City, who played a significant role in Australia's record-breaking 22-0 victory over Tonga, scoring six goals. The stark difference in quality between the two teams was evident, with Tonga's coach, Gary Phillips, acknowledging the vast gulf between the squads.

However, not everyone was pleased with the situation. The club managers whose players were called up for these friendlies outside of the recognized international window expressed their discontent. Rangers boss, Dick Advocaat, had to manage without two Australian defenders and criticized what he saw as the foolishness of the situation. Despite the criticism, Farina remained undeterred, asserting his authority to call up any player he deemed necessary. He made it clear that he had no intention of taking the foot off the pedal, emphasizing his commitment to maintaining a high level of performance.

Farina's unwavering determination and willingness to select players from abroad reflected his ambition to secure Australia's qualification for the World Cup. His confident approach and refusal to compromise demonstrated his strong belief in the team's abilities.

5. Preston North End 26-0 Hyde

During the 1880s, Preston North End was a dominant force in English football, earning the nickname "the Galacticos" of their time. Their manager, William Sudell, employed an unconventional tactic to attract top talent from Scotland. He offered lucrative, albeit theoretical, positions at his mill to entice players to join his club, as player wages were not yet permitted.

Just two years after professional football was legalized, Hyde was unfortunate enough to draw the short straw and face Preston at their formidable home ground, Deepdale, in the FA Cup. Sudell's star-studded team was in the midst of an impressive unbeaten run, which would extend to an astonishing 42 games across all competitions. The match started ominously for Hyde, as Preston took the lead within two minutes. The scoring continued relentlessly, leaving Hyde helpless against the nation's footballing elite.

Preston North End's dominance during this era demonstrated their unrivaled talent and the effectiveness of Sudell's recruitment strategy. Their success and remarkable unbeaten run solidified their status as one of the most formidable teams of the time.

4. Tahiti 30-0 Cook Islands

The 1971 South Pacific Games, held in Tahiti, brought together 14 island nations for a diverse range of sporting events, including athletics disciplines like discus and decathlon. Despite the region's general preference for rugby, football was among the most popular events during the summer games. The enthusiastic crowd was treated to a record-breaking performance as the host nation, Tahiti, scored an astounding 30 goals without conceding a single one against the Cook Islands.

As relative minnows in the international football landscape, this was a less than glorious start for the newly established Cook Islands national team. They had suffered a heavy 16-1 defeat against Papua New Guinea just two days prior to their encounter with Tahiti. The host nation then unleashed a relentless onslaught of goals, leaving the Cook Islands defenseless. Their tournament concluded with a slightly more merciful 15-1 loss against Fiji.

Despite the lopsided results, the Cook Islands' participation in the South Pacific Games marked an important milestone in their footballing journey. It provided them with an opportunity to gain experience and exposure on the international stage, even if the results were not in their favor.

3. Australia 31-0 American Samoa

In their match against Australia, American Samoa faced insurmountable odds even before a ball was kicked. The tiny Pacific island found themselves at a significant disadvantage when FIFA ruled that 19 of their 20 squad members, who were born in neighboring Samoa, were ineligible to play on the eve of the game. This left American Samoa in a precarious position, as they had to hastily assemble a team with even younger and inexperienced players, including a pair of 15-year-olds, as the under-20 squad was unable to participate due to school exams.

Head coach Tunoa Lui acknowledged the overwhelming challenge and openly admitted that they were relying on divine intervention to keep the scoreline down. However, not even divine intervention could prevent Australian striker Archie Thompson from setting a world record by scoring an astonishing 13 goals in the match. The sentiment expressed by Thompson, referring to the game as "a waste of time," echoed the thoughts of many at the time.

The one-sided nature of the match was exemplified by the fact that Australian goalkeeper Michael Petkovic had to wait for 86 minutes before making his first touch of the ball. The overwhelming dominance of Australia and the overwhelming odds stacked against American Samoa highlighted the vast discrepancy in resources, experience, and talent between the two sides.

2. Dundee Harp 35-0 Aberdeen Rovers

The scoreline of Dundee Harp's 35-0 victory over Aberdeen Rovers in the Scottish Cup is indeed eye-popping, but it requires some context to truly understand the magnitude of the result. Aberdeen Rovers, in only their second-ever fixture, faced a significant handicap as they fielded only 10 players. However, contemporaneous reports strangely downplayed this handicap.

Dundee Harp, on the other hand, were a relatively more experienced team, having been established six years prior. They wasted no time in asserting their dominance, racing to a commanding 16-0 lead by halftime. Captain D'Arcy Junior made his mark by scoring an incredible 10 goals, including five in the second half alone. Such was the rapid pace of scoring that the referee reportedly lost count of the goals, initially awarding a 37-0 win before the Harp's secretary insisted that only 35 goals had been scored.

Although it was almost a footnote at the end of the match, the extraordinary scoreline had lasting repercussions. The result would be remembered for its sheer magnitude and become a notable part of Scottish football history. The match highlighted the vast disparity between the two teams and the challenges faced by a newly-formed club like Aberdeen Rovers, while showcasing the dominance and ruthlessness of Dundee Harp.

1. Arbroath 36-0 Bon Accord

When it comes to crushing defeats, few can rival the Scots, who even have a special word for laughably one-sided fixtures: "gubbing." On the same day that Dundee Harp achieved their remarkable 35 (or 37) goal victory over Aberdeen Rovers, Arbroath FC managed to notch up an equally astonishing 36-0 win against Bon Accord.

The two clubs, Arbroath and Dundee Harp, were bitter rivals due to their proximity and the transfer of Tom O'Kane, an Arbroath native, to Dundee Harp in 1885. O'Kane, eager to taunt his former colleagues, sent a telegram boasting about his new club's resounding victory, only to be met with the news that Arbroath had actually gone one step further. The margin of victory could have been even greater, as the referee disallowed seven goals for narrow offsides.

This record-breaking result further intensified the rivalry between Arbroath and Dundee Harp, while showcasing the propensity for lopsided matches in Scottish football history. The ruling out of additional goals due to offsides highlights the dominance of Arbroath in the match and adds an element of what could have been to the already astounding scoreline.

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